80 Funny Valentines Day Quotes

Funny valentines day quotes

Funny valentines day quotes are the best way to catch attraction in your campus or in your friend circle. In case, you are seeking a cute love poem or some typically lovelorn verses to send a message to your sweetheart, then this is not the place for you. But if you are looking for sardonic and humorous expressions about this much discussed holiday, then we definitely have the right stuff for you.

  • If I tell you I love you, can I have you forever?
  • If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  • I love you so much, if you ever leave me, I’m going with you.
  • You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
  • I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine’s Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine’s Day.
  • Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
  • Nothing spoils romance so much as a sense of humour in the woman.
  • True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
  • Falling in love is so hard on the knees.
  • Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.
  • Love is a grave mental disease.
  • A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one
  • Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.
  • Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the last.
  • A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
  • Valentine’s Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don’t have a special someone, you’re alone.
  • Happy Valentine’s Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you’re probably alone. Valentine’s Day is often times a, well, it’s a manufactured day that really doesn’t mean anything.
  • It is impossible to love and be wise.
  • My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn’t want him to.
  • I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
  • Valentine’s Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
  • Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine’s Day gift for their mother? Doens’t that freak you out a little? It’s like, ‘I don’t know how to break this to you but I think she’s banging your dad!

Funny valentines day quotes For Married Couples

Funny valentines day quotes
  • Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband! 
  • The secret of a happy marriage is still a secret.
  • Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.
  • Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
  • Remember–you can either be happy or right.
  • The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
  • Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day. 
  • The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.
  • A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
  • A good marriage is where two people love each other and decide to screw everything up by forcing themselves to stay together through anything. Here’s to your good decision.
  •  Marriage is one of the leading causes of divorce.
  • A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
  • Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
  • My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
  • Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
  • I not spoken to my wife for 18 months. I did not like to interrupt her.
  • I always wanted to take my wife out. So I did. Now I’m in prison.
  • The last fight we had was my fault. My wife asked,”What’s on the TV?” I said, “Dust” 
  •  We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years.

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